Ed Faction
by Vavabn
Summary: The Eds get sucked into the game Red Faction due to a failed expirement.
1. Welcome Wagon

This is my first story and I know its going to be the worst thing ever written so don't remind me. Note: {this means thoughts} "this is talking"  
  
Location: Ultor Sci Labs Time: 5:00 AM Year: 2027  
  
Deep in Capek's inner sanctum an experiment was going on {one that would lead to incredible things} thought Capek as he watched the workers start a strange machine through the reinforced glass that he could hear their voices through.  
  
"Start it up." "What the!" "Run for it!" "Ahhhh!"  
  
{Just a few more lives in the name if science}Thought Capek as he saw the explosion end and a strange light appear then disappear.  
  
Location: Cul-De-Sac Time: 11:00 AM Year: 2002  
  
The Eds latest scam had failed miserably and the they were headed to Ed's house for ideas when Eddy yelled out "How could this not work!" "But Eddy I'm sure no one would have ever suspected those jawbreakers were rocks" said Edd sarcastically. "These sure are good" Said Ed while sucking on a rock covered in white paint. "Never talk again Ed"  
  
Yep just another average day for the Eds until a strange light appeared in front of them.  
  
"What the fuck is that thing!" "I have no idea Eddy and watch your language!" "This is just like in Invasion of The Turkey People when the mashed potato beam destroys all the fried chicken on earth!"  
  
With those last few words the light hit them and they disappeared.  
  
Location: Ultor Mines Time: 1:15 PM Year: 2027  
  
The Ed's opened there eyes and looked around they were I some kind of barracks with things that looked like red spacesuits hanging on the wall Just then man in a blue spacesuit carrying a weird looking stick came in and yelled "Get back to work miners!" Right then Eddy stupidly yelled "Tell us were we are!" "Shut up miner and don't ask dumbass questions."  
  
The guard pressed a button on his stick and one end started glowing with electricity he then jammed the glowing end into Eddy's stomach giving him a severe shock. "I'll be watching you miner." Then he left.  
  
Well that's the first chapter and I'm going to continue this story whether you review or not and as I said before this will probably win the award for suckiest thing ever written. In case your wondering this is my first story. Note: This is just a intro the other chapters will be longer {I hope} 


	2. Eddy Revenge and Eds Imaginary Sex Chang...

Disclaimer: I don't own Eddy, Ed and Edd because they belong to cartoon network. Orion, Eios and Parker belong to someone besides me and I forgot the name.  
  
I'm going to take EdFanMHs advice because I wouldn't trust Ed with a gun either but he's going to get a gun eventually just to see him with a fusion rocket launcher. Evil laughter. One more thing the Eds aren't taking Parker's place there getting there own mission so I can do anything I want with them. More evil laughter. If anyone has an idea on how to get the other kids into this story please tell me. Note: [this is stuff being read]  
  
Time: 1:16 PM Location: Miner Barracks Year: 2027 just like last chapter Ed and Edd were helping Eddy up after that guard had shocked him after resting for a minute Eddy said "Hay Double-D where are we anyway?" "I have no idea Eddy" "I am a robot from planet Microsoft!" Ed Yelled just as stupid as always from inside one of the envirosuits. "Ed shut up I don't want that guard coming back" Grumbled Eddy just then they heard a voice over a intercom in another room say "Welcome to Mars please report to the cleaning chamber for degermination procedure" "Where on Mars!" They yelled in unison. After calming down they realized what was going on. "Were miners" "Well let's get going before I get another tazer burn." "Are their chickens on Mars Double-D?" "No Ed the nearest chicken is billions of miles away" "No chickens" Ed starts crying "Ed calm down I'm sure they raise chickens somewhere on this planet in a controlled habitat." said Edd making Ed stop crying after that they put on the envirosuits and walked through the airlock. Time: 1:18 PM Location: just outside miner barracks Year: just so you don't forget it's 2027 The Eds were walking towards the mines when Edd said "what's that?" Edd points to a flyer on the wall "I don't care Double-D" "It's a radioactive piece of cardboard from planet box, run away!" Ed starts running in circles "Ed its not radioactive and I'm going to read this and found out what it is." Edd reads flyer "Look at this guys!" [Ultor is the cause of the plague they are the ones that have been killing miners left and right you must join us and strike back at Ultor before it is to late! -Eos] "It's a revolution." "you mean a war Double-D?" "Precisely Eddy now we had best avoid this war as a saf.." Eddy interrupts Edd by saying "If theres war I can kill the jackass how shocked me!" "What did I say about language Eddy?" "Let's just go." The Eds walk towards the mine.  
  
Time: 6:50 PM Location: Mine M-4 Year: scroll up "Damn it I can't keep this up!" "Language Eddy." "Fuck off Double-D!" "I am Samus Aran die Ridley!" Yelled Ed causing Edd and Eddy to stop arguing. "Ed Samus Aran was a woman" "Ahhhhh I'm a woman save me Double-D!" "Ed shut up you haven't changed at all besides you're too stupid to be Samus." "Thanks Eddy." Said Ed as he looked down the tunnel and saw a guard coming. "Tazer person get back to work!" All the Eds start working. Time: 8:59 PM Location: Mine M-4 Year: In case you forgot it's 2027 "Second work shift has ended all miners return to barracks" Said a voice over the intercom. "Yay no more work!" "But Eddy you're forgetting we have to do this everyday until we get home." "Way to be a buzz kill Double-D" "Lets go find those chickens guys." {There has to be some way of going home} {where's that guard that shocked me I've got a little surprise for him} Eddy picks up a rock and acts like he's throwing it {Maybe the chickens are in one of these tunnels.} "Do you guys hear that?" The Eds stop talking and listen to the voices down the tunnel "Were do you think your going miner!" "Lay off it's been a long day." "Well it's about to get a little longer!" The miner and the guard start fighting and kill each just as the Eds walk up then all the guards and miners start fighting "The revolution has started!" Yells someone in the tunnel. The Eds grab three pistols and a control baton of some dead guards. "Lets find a safe place to hide!" "Where's that guard." "BOOM!" Ed shoots his pistol and misses Eddy's head by a centimeter. "What are you thinking lumpy!? Give me that!" Edd takes Eds gun away and gives him a control baton " Here hold this and try not to shock while I shoot these little babies." Eddy pulls out his double pistols and yells "Charge!" Eddy and Ed charge ahead shooting or in Eds case shocking guards left and right while Edd just watched "I can't kill someone" said Edd then he looked down and saw a miner barely alive say "When you get back to earth tell my wife I love her." with those last words he died at Edds feet "I know what I must do." Edd looked at the death and decay all around and yelled "Viva la revolution!" while running after Ed and Eddy.  
  
Time: 9:07 Location: Mine M-4 Year: stop asking me Eddy and Ed are at standoff with about 20 guards when Eddy yells "Were the hell did sockhead run off to!" "I'm right hear Eddy!" Eddy looked up and saw two explosives go off making the middle section of a bridge above the guards fall and crush most of them the few survivors started running away but a shot went through each of their heads. "Hey guys." double -D said as he jumped down off a cliff above them while holding a sniper rifle. "What was that Double-D?" "Remote charges Eddy very useful for demolitions" "But the sniper rifle?" "I found it at an abandoned guard station" "Here' a tip Eddy never run from a sniper you'll only die tired" "Oh great now he's a philosopher" "Come on lets go before more guards come." The Eds start walking away when Eddy hit hi toe on something "FUCK!" "What the fuck did I step on!?" "Language Eddy" "Whatever Double-D" Eddy looks down and sees a automatic shotgun then forgetting any pain picks it up and starts smiling like he had just found a jawbreaker "Imagine the damage I could do with this baby." Meanwhile Ed is looking at the Ultor symbol on a riot shield "Pretty sun" "Come on guys lets keep going." "alright" Ed and Eddy pick up the weapons they found and follow Edd.  
  
The Eds were hiding behind a wall of debris with two other miners, Ed was holding up his riot shield and shocking guards that came to close to their little fort with his control baton, Edd was shooting at the closer guards with his pistol and the ones farther away with his sniper rifle and Eddy was blasting guards with his shotgun "Where are these guys coming from!" Eddy said as he put a hole through a guards stomach when they saw something big drive down the tunnel "This is just like in invasion of the package labels from planet post office when the giant cardboard box warriors eat the brains of the lizard people!" "shut up Ed and what is that thing Double- D" "It's an APC and it's heading right towards us!" Just Then a hatch on top of the APC opened and a guard stuck his head out and yelled "Die miners scum!" But then a rocket flew out of a hole in the ceiling and into the Open hatch hitting the fuel tanks inside "Oh shit" said every guard near the APC And then BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM! Were there used to be about 16 guards there was now just a really big crater "Jeeze Louise" "My gosh" "Cool" "Who did that?" "We did" Said Two miners jumping out of the hole in the ceiling "Were with the Red Faction please come with us" "Why should we!" "Because were on your side that's why." "We have a base near hear and we could use all the help we could get" "I'm not going." Said Eddy stubbornly "Fine Eddy lets go on alone get blown apart by some other military vehicle!" "Cool gun" Said Ed looking at the rocket launcher "don't touch that kid." "Alright I'll go along with you but no suprises!" "Yay more boomies!" Then all seven of them walked down a side tunnel with Eddy grumbling the entire way.  
  
Well that's the second chapter and I have to say a few things. First some credit goes to my friend Kevin for reading this and telling me it was good and also telling me the sniper saying Double-D told Eddy. Second I'm sorry for the metroid reference but something that awesome deserves a reference so don't complain! Third I'm going to put some original characters in this story because I'm bored and it's my story so hah! Finally drum roll please dum dum dum the winner of fic so bad it makes hell seem like a resort awrd is....... Ed Faction!!!!!!!!!! 


End file.
